Jericho considers unpaving Browns Trace

    Jericho News: You heard it here (April) First.

     With the cost of paving at about one million dollars per mile, the small town of Jericho, Vermont, being  prudent in wanting to maximize the town folk’s tax money, is considering un-paving Browns Trace.

Folks is figurin big city folks will flock to town where the blacktop ends – sitting high with their oversized mud tires, fancy high galoot galoshes

and digitalized rut finders just to spread a little Vermont spring mud about their attire. 

“Bring country back to the country” is one proposed slogan to celebrate Jericho’s proposed Browns Trace returns to a historical oversized cow path.

The Jericho Country Store (rumor has it) fully supports the change and soon plans to install a few horse ties – them being less expensive than electric charging stations. 

One concern – upon removal of the asphalt speed hump/bump - traffic might slow down too much as to risk pedestrians crossing the road to the store. The pedestrians might run into a slow-moving car going by.

Horse owners will be asked to ride down the middle of the dirt road, one for their safety, and two, to the benefit of the town highway. You see, horses tend to leave a few droppings along the way. The town highway crew did not favor adding scoop the poop to their resumes. Therefore as a win–win, by having horses straddle the middle of the road, the (stuff) left in place will create an impenetrable (who would want to drive over it) brown line in the center of the road.

Maintaining a connection to route 2 and route 15 will require roundabouts given the expected traffic increase. Instructions on how to drive on a dirt road will be dispersed via an automated dispenser placed in the middle of the roundabouts. Slow will be spelled out in 124 languages and include an audio podcast for those not quite understanding the term.

Given the high amount of traffic on Browns Trace (currently nearing that of Madison Avenue and the San Diego Freeway*), the dirt and gravel require a reinforcement material. Local Maple Syrup (donated by Tom Baribault), and sheep wool (donated by Jericho Settlers Farm) make a fine durable and permeable fabric to bolster soil stability, maintain permeability, and sweeten the drainage. The wool component may help keep the roads from freezing in the winter.  
*Recent traffic count shows about 4,000 cars per day pass along Browns Trace.

To further aid in cost reduction, all able-bodied citizens of Jericho are asked to attend a tar-busting event. 

Bring your own picks, shovels, pitchforks to the community center for a grand celebration. The picks, shovels, and pitchforks should be cleaned after road demolishing work, and before these utensils are placed in the community swimming pool-sized potluck of food. 

No plastic cutlery - think sustainable. 

And please chew slowly - because like driving through Jericho, going   S L O W L Y  is better!

Visiting Jericho? Stop by our famous Country Store, sit a spell on our town center green, and taste locally grown foods at Jericho Settler Farm. The scenery, from local well-kept 100+-year-old homes to gardens of flowers and vegetables galore, to startling scenic views of Mount Mansfield will inspire you to stop, look, and listen (or at least slow down and enjoy life a bit more). 

Even our Browns Trace is sweet and (the runoff) edible (or will be soon). Just go slow the paint in the middle of the road is often fresh, steamy, and not dried yet!

Next up, A Covered Bridge in front of the Jericho Store and Cows on the Jericho Green – cause this is Vermont. Read the full story next April 1 – 2020. And remember to tell'em you read it here (April) First!

* Read the (April) First 2018 edition here. (Mountain Resort seeks Jericho approval for Browns Trace Ski Slope.)

 Caring, and sharing, plus contribution (And a wee bit of humor/fun) equals community: genuine relationships, trust, a place of belonging.

Jericho Settlers Farm

Laugh, Dream, Try, and do good.

Bernie



Related headlines:

• Jericho Vt in taking a step back in time considers un-paving Browns Trace in an exasperated effort to slow traffic.
• April Fools or an attempt to make the best of mud season and get an entry into the Guinness Book of World Records? Jericho VT considers un-paving Browns Trace - main road in the historic village.
• Similar (2016) news from East Montpelier  https://www.mnn.com/green-tech/transportation/blogs/why-one-vermont-town-tearing-asphalt-instead-repairing-potholes

Comments (sent via email)

• Bernie, I've always opposed paving roads. Seems to me that mud season presents an excellent test of whether or not people should be living in Vermont. Same for cars: if a Prius can't follow a tank, don't own it. Happy April Fools day.  ~Doug

• As one who listens to the 4000 cars going by my bedroom window, I say, Right on, Bernie!  I’ll be there with my pick and shovel!   Love a winter morning when snow covers the asphalt and you can almost imagine a sled will come by at any moment. ~All the best, Cathy
  [*Sledge - A vehicle on runners for conveying loads or passengers over snow or ice, often pulled by draft animals.]

• Love the Tar Busting event idea! Good to hear from you, Bernie!  ~Judy

• Un-paving Brown’s Trace - That was a fun read   ~Andrew B.

• April Fools! ~Debbie H.

• Haha! You got me for a minute 😊   ~Linda S

• Thanks for sharing.  Given that highly accurate traffic data, the story must be true. ~Todd
• Thanks for the morning chuckle. I especially like the image of the horses going down the middle of the road, etc! ~Julia
• Hope the drivers drive SLOW! When we visited you in early fall - saw cars went by pretty fast! Geez! ~Susan

• Thank You for the whimsy and humor on a cold April Fool's Day. ~Mary Jane

• I'd wield a pickax with verve and glee to break up roads, to get rid of cars, to get rid of exhaust fumes, gasoline/oil spills, to get rid of the acres of paving that create the heat islands that contribute mightily to global warming.  I wish it weren't an April Fools' Day riff!  ~Pam, Boulder Co.

• I thought it was brilliant. ~C.L.